Sexual goals aren't often at the forefront of our minds when it comes to New Year's resolutions, and that's a missed opportunity. Like every other part of our lives, from our health to our finances, our sex lives don't thrive without regular care, motivation, and goals.
The start of a new year often brings a surge of energy. We're inspired to dream big again, and to recommit ourselves to working towards the things we want in life. For many of us, this usually means hitting the gym again, becoming more conscious of our food choices, or moving forward towards a desired career milestone. But what about our relationships? More specifically, what about sex?
Just like our health and finances, our sex lives need regular attention, motivation, and goals to flourish. However, we often don't give our sex lives the same thoughtful consideration, goal-setting, creativity and active nurturing that we give to other areas of our lives.
Especially for people in long-term relationships, it's easy for sex to take a back seat over time. You follow the same comfortable routine, even when things are clearly getting a bit stale. Or sex may simply be ignored in favour of what are considered more pressing responsibilities. Add to this the overwhelming stress of living through a life-altering global health crisis that is disrupting our employment, school systems and ability to maintain basic social traditions with loved ones, and it's easy to see why people might not think to prioritize orgasms, of all things.
But the truth is that all the things that come with sex: full-bodied pleasure, profound awareness of our bodily senses, human connection and a little creative play, are also all the things we need to get us through times of stress. Regularly making time to feel good is soup for the soul. What is more, spending time actively nurturing our sex lives almost always leads to greater intimacy with our partners. This intimacy then leads to a stronger relationship that serves as a foundation from which to tackle the rest of the world.
A sexual resolution is simply a commitment to put some time and focus into your sex life together. It might mean trying a new routine, experimenting with a new type of sexual play, or developing a new way of thinking about this part of your relationship.
Start by inviting your partner to have a conversation about the idea of sexual resolutions and why you want to have one, and ask if they'd be open to making one together. If so, set aside some time to do a sexual reflection together. What was great about your sex life last year? What do you want your sex life to be like next year?
From there, decide on one thing you'd like to focus on this year. Here are some ideas, but feel free to get creative and come up with something that feels particularly fruitful for your relationship.
✓ Study the science of sex together. Commit to reading a book about sex, listening to a sex podcast together and discussing the episodes, or taking a couple's sex workshop or class.
✓ Take a quarterly sex holiday. Book a room or plan a holiday, get someone to look after the kids for a weekend, and set aside some time each quarter (or each month if you have the means and interest) to explore your sexuality together. Take turns planning the weekend's activities.
✓ Once a month, try something new in bed. A new position, a new place, a new time of day, introducing new toys or accessories, trying a new power dynamic or role play, the possibilities are endless.
✓ Get to know your body. Spend the year really getting to know each other's bodies (and your own). Together, choose one of your partner's body parts and spend the month getting to know that body part intimately. Then switch and spend the next month doing one of your own body parts.
✓ Make this a 'year' for your sex life. Maybe it's the year of experimentation. Or perhaps it's the year of learning, or the year of sensuality, or the year of kink. Whatever excites you.
✓ Be open to new ways of sexual stimulation. You'll never be bored with a wide range of sexual enhancers and toys.
For those with hard-on problems, we recommend the most effective remedy, erectile dysfunction medication. It will get you hard and ready in less than 30–60 minutes. If you're looking for a long-lasting sexual weekend, try Tadalafil, which lasts up to 36 hours with just one 20 mg pill. Premature ejaculation can be easily treated with Tadapox, a specially formulated drug that treats erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation in one pill.
And there are some drugs for women too. Lovegra, also known as Viagra for Women, is a product for women who want to spice up their sex life. It's a popular sexual enhancer designed specifically for women. Women who take Lovegra experience increased blood flow and sensitivity in the vaginal area, leading to better natural lubrication and an increased success rate during intercourse.
Once you've made your sex resolution, plan for how you'll check your progress throughout the year. We recommend monthly or quarterly follow-ups to see how you're doing and how you're both feeling about the resolution. It's also okay if you want to shift your resolution or make adjustments if you find that any part of it isn't working as well as you intended. Be open-minded and adaptable. Remember that this is about doing something that feels good and brings you together. Go in with a spirit of curiosity and flexibility.
Have fun.
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